When I Knew- Bellarke
by fanoffiction95
Summary: When various characters of the 100 realized Clarke and Bellamy's love for one another
1. Chapter 1: Bellamy

Surprise! I'm having some writing block in terms of my other fix, I hope you like this one :)

Bellamy

When I saw Clarke the first time, I didn't think anything other than that she was hot and annoying as hell. Every decision I made, every step I took, she was always there to question me. "What if the air is toxic?" she asked, questioning me right off the bat. Like I said, she was insufferable.

What gave her a right to think that she knew what's best? But that's the thing, she always ended up knowing what was best. Begrudgingly I slowly accepted her council. Whenever I didn't know what to do, she always did. It also annoyed me how beautiful she was, I couldn't stop looking at her. Like I said, she was annoying. Like an itch I couldn't scratch.

It was worse when that spacewalker started noticing me. He always would catch me looking at her and I didn't like it. Not to mention, he was an idiot and Clarke could do much better. I started calling Clarke 'Princess' to get a rise out of her, typically girls didn't fight me on things other than my sister. It helped that it annoyed the spacewalker.

But it wasn't until she killed Atom that I really started to develop feelings for her. I respected her. I had once said that she couldn't make the hard decisions, but she proved me wrong once again. She was strong when I couldn't be. And I knew how much it hurt her to do that. She's beautiful physically yes, but also her character is beautiful. She cares so much about every human life, she doesn't want anyone to have to die unnecessarily. But if someone has to, she accepts it. She doesn't keep arguing like Finn does, but he's to idealistic. He also doesn't understand how Clarke can make the hard decisions when she has to, but I do. She's stronger than he thinks. He doesn't need to protect her, she can handle herself. And that's what terrifies me. I care about her and I want to keep her safe. Regardless of whether or not Clarke or Octavia can handle themselves, I'm still going to try to help them and keep them safe, nothing else matters. I'll never deserve her. She's too good for me, especially morally speaking. I hurt people and make bad choices when protecting those I care about. Clarke evaluates all the options and truly thinks before doing anything drastic. I don't know how she does it. I love her, but I'll be whatever she needs me to be in order to keep her and our people safe. I can't let my feelings for her get anyone hurt. Loving Octavia has caused enough problems as is. I'm not going to create any more problems for Clarke, she has enough on her shoulders and it's my job to alleviate that weight.


	2. Chapter 2: Finn

Finn

I see the way he looks at her. I hear it in her voice when she says she trusts him. She doesn't see it yet, but I can. Bellamy loves Clarke, but she can't seem to see that. At least there's that.

I should have told her about Raven. That fact killed my chances with her, doesn't mean I'm going to give up. Her resistance from admitting her feelings for Bellamy proves that she still has feelings for me. She might be conflicted, but I'm going to do everything in my power to keep her from him. He's not good for her, people around him get hurt. He's a player, he'll never deserve her.

Not that I deserve her. None of us do. We are lucky to have her. If it wasn't for her leadership, we'd all be dead following Bellamy. At least he listens to her, at least theres that.

I still love Raven. Just not in the same was as Clarke. But the way she relies on Bellamy, the way she trusts him, it's clear she's already falling for his trap.

She says she trusts him. But she never says she trusts me. She says she needs me, but she's said she needs him too. But he has her trust, and I don't.

I told her I loved her, and she said I broke her heart. It broke my heart hearing that, but I knew it was true. I know she cared for me, the way she shed her tears at my confession. It's clear she felt the same way at one point or another, but not anymore. She had started having feelings for Bellamy and it was complicated. Otherwise she would have told me that she loved me too.

When the Grounders attacked our village, it was even more evident. The fact that she wouldn't close the dropship door. The way she crumbled seeing that Grounder killing Bellamy, I saw it on her face. She couldn't handle Bellamy dying. I didn't know how far she was in terms of falling for him, but it was far enough to know that I had to do something for her. I wasn't going to let him die, I wouldn't let Clarke feel pain again if I could help it. My betrayal in cheating with her on Raven, was enough.

She might not admit it now or ever, but she loves Bellamy. I can see that she's trying not to. She tries to hold back, and that's the part I hold onto. I hope that side wins. But another part of me feels bad, that she won't let herself love him because she's scared of getting her heart broken again. And I did that. I put that fear and resistance in her, and I don't know how to take that back. They're co-leaders, maybe it's for the best if they never admit how they feel about one another.


	3. Chapter 3: Octavia

Octavia

I didn't think Bellamy cared about anyone, except me of course. He always did what he thought was best for me, even though he was a real asshole about it. 'My sister, my responsibility' and all that crap. I can take care of myself. I didn't think I could ever get him to see that, until Clarke came around. She talked him down, she made him see reason. And he listened to her.

I didn't understand at first. They bantered like hell. I thought they hated each other, but now it's clear to me that I was wrong. When we found the Ark camp, after evading the Grounders and saving Mel from the cliff, Clarke ran at him and jumped into his arms. I didn't think anyone cared about him like I did. I never thought he cared about anyone like he did me. But them he grabbed her around the waist and held her to him, lifting her up, his shoulders relaxing. He was relieved to see her. The crease in his brows disappeared and the corners of his mouth perked up. He was smiling. And it was then that I realized he loved her. Or at least he was close to loving her. "Now there's something I never thought I'd see," I said. I never thought he would find love. Any woman willing to love my asshole of a big brother has to be a fearsome thing to behold and little bit crazy. It makes sense that if it's anyone, it's Clarke. Now if only I can get them to admit their feelings to one another, they both deserve happiness. They're both very stubborn.. but it shouldn't be that hard to do, right?


	4. Chapter 4: Monty

Monty

I didn't know Bellamy loved Clarke. I had always suspected it, we made bets back at camp wondering when they'd ever stop fighting long enough to get together. But we thought it was just a sexual chemistry thing, that they just wanted to get into each others pants. I didn't know that they loved each other, care yes, but love? I don't think any of us saw that coming.

I knew Bellamy loved her when we went after her during the bounty. When everyone was hunting for Clarke, that's when I realized how desperate he was to keep her safe. I know Bellamy cares about all of us, of course he would go after us if we were in trouble. But the way he went after Clarke… it was as if it was Octavia's life on the line. The way he ignored the Grounder army charging to us when he spotted Clarke. The fact that he took our Grounder prisoner's clothing to infiltrate the army just to get to Clarke… he wasn't thinking rationally.

After he got stabbed and insisting on limping his way to her, losing a ton of blood along the way, he shouted at me and said, "I can't lose her!" He seemed to realize what he said, then said, "We can't lose her."

That's when I realized that he loved her. That it was more than that he needed his friend and co-leader back. He was willing to do anything to get her back, and I knew there was nothing that would stop him until he did. Even my mom and Kane realized his feelings for her.

I swear, Bellamy and Clarke are the dumbest smart people I know. How can they be so intelligent when it comes to saving all of our lives, but when it comes to each other they are so incredibly stupid. Maybe it's because they're leaders. Maybe it's because they think that being together is a leisure they can't afford. I don't know. All I can hope is that eventually they get their wits about them and tell each other how they feel.


End file.
